MuzzleFlash

Say What?

2011-11-08T16:50:00.000-08:00

Fast forward four years...Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld are yesterday's tawdry news. Yet the slowly pulsing need to blog has resurfaced. Hence the foregoing.

Some Unanswered Cheney Hunting Accident Questions

2006-02-17T05:31:00.000-08:00

This blog entry at Democratic Underground summarizes the unasked (by our curiously incurious corporate media) and unanswered questions fairly succinctly.

As a side note the fact that Cheney had in his earlier years been busted twice for drinking and driving hadn't previously blipped on my radar. A little fact checking turned up this.

Oh Oh.

2006-02-15T07:23:00.000-08:00

More Abu Ghraib abuse photos have been made public. Some are quite graphic and remind me of photos I've seen from Auschwitz.

Shiny New Gizmo

2006-02-14T05:43:00.000-08:00

I added Stickam to the sidebar. Looks very promising.

This is TOO funny!

2006-02-13T09:52:00.000-08:00

Headline from local newspaper:

"Cheney hunting trip goes awry

followed by this:

"Millionaire attorney Harry Whittington is 'doing fine and in good spirits' after Vice President Dick Cheney fires too close to his buddy while tracking a bird." - Tacoma News Tribune

Oh my. Fires too close. Oh geez. Now that IS rich. Pardon me while I pick the pellets out of my face. Next time don't fire so close...you might actually miss.

Cheney Guns Down Fellow Hunter.

2006-02-13T06:56:00.000-08:00

What surprises me most about this "accident" is that it doesn't surprise me at all. Who authorized live ammo for Darth anyhow?

Note to self: Pick your spin?
1) Cheney Accidentally Shoots Fellow Hunter.
2) Cheney Shoots Fellow Hunter.
or
3) Cheney Guns Down Fellow Republican.

Sudoku At Dawn

2006-02-12T09:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I discovered sudoku's elegantly simple rules. Over at WebSudoku I soon also discovered simple rules do NOT necessarily equal simple solutions. In fact I found my brain bent almost to the breaking point in directions it hasn't gone in ages. All those long nights keeping beer company may have dulled my logical facilities. Beer is indeed a harsh mistress.

This strategy page may help...but right now it's as hard to decipher as a seduko puzzle itself.

The Abramoff / Libbygate scandal

2006-02-12T09:42:00.000-08:00

has morphed into the Cheney/Bushgate scandal. The evidence now supports the logic. It's certainly not a huge mental leap to think Libby was following orders or that Bush knows one of his prime financial supporters (and probably quite well). Now we know. What fascinates me is that from the day these gates and scandals broke it should have been obvious to any and all the corruption and sleaze flows from the top down.

Disclaimer

2006-02-12T09:41:00.000-08:00

The facts and truth contained herein are the sole property of the real world and are in no way endorsed by the author or the author's designated representatives.

I resume...

2006-02-12T09:39:00.000-08:00

therefore I am.

Fox propaganda is better than sex.

2005-07-27T09:34:00.000-07:00

I was at the tavern the other day with my right-wingnut buddy Bob. We were watching the Faith Hill Mississipi Girl country music video. I sighed, "Great blue jeans." then looked around astonished to find my buddy engrossed in Bill O'Really on the other tv... Always knew these right-wingers don't have their priorities exactly just right.

I wasn't really missing for two months...

2005-07-27T09:20:00.000-07:00

I was undercover looking for sources of WMH. Now my cover's blown so I may as well report in to this mail drop. It's been an intriguing furlough.

I came unblogged at the seams

2005-05-23T05:54:00.000-07:00

for a bit... been bemusedly watching the Republicans as they prepare to destroy the Senate with their "cry baby" option. Too much Cspan...too little time.

ROFL Department:

2005-05-10T07:36:00.000-07:00

Oliver North of Iran/Contra fame (law breaker for patriotic reasons, convicted felon, etc. etc.) is reborn as a "fair and balanced" FOX news embedded "reporter" in Iraq (reporting this morning on the outstanding job our guys are doing against the "terrorists" on the Iraq/Syria border).

What's next? Poindexter as lead anchor?

"I hear you're writing a blob."

2005-05-09T08:19:00.000-07:00

From this comment in a convenience store I deduce blogging hasn't yet gone entirely mainstream.

Blob, indeed! I gave up fountain pens years ago.

Yesterday someone who knows

2005-05-09T07:35:00.000-07:00

the important things in my life much more than I do told me I am too connected. I don't need an internet connection, cell phone and home phone (since I'm never home). I replied, "You don't need that $2000 car you recently bought since you mainly drive it around town drunk waiting for a DUI citation."

So there.

I haven't been too lazy to blog....

2005-05-09T06:36:00.000-07:00

I've been gathering new material and attending a community college course called Blogging & Spin 101. Just kidding. I was partying like a maniac.

My truck driver buddy, Sammy, was in

2005-05-05T07:16:00.000-07:00

from a run to L.A. Friday morning. We were lounging at Galloping Gerties Bar and Grill sipping breakfast when suddenly the URGE hit. I bought ten bucks in pull tab tickets and brought them back to the table. I took another sip of breakfast and looked at Sammy. Sammy looked at me. I opened the first ticket. $404 dollar winner. Then five $1 winners in a row. Not a bad start.

My other buddy, Big Rick, said if you gamble another dime, I'll break all your fingers. So we all sipped more breakfast and when Rick left I snuck another $10. Didn't win squat. Who needs fingers anyway.

Had never thought of it this way before...

2005-05-05T05:23:00.000-07:00

"My friend Daniel Ellsberg once said that what's good about the American people is that you have to lie to them. What's bad about Americans is that it's so easy to do." - Greg Palast

My new next door neighbor-to-be

2005-05-03T06:18:00.000-07:00

said yesterday mushrooms are growing in his bedroom and the landlady must remove them before he moves in. Doesn't surprise me. The previous neighbor stopped by awhile back to proudly announce she'd found a new profession as a prostitute. I haven't seen her since but why would mushrooms surprise me?

The difference between an old person

2005-05-02T19:15:00.000-07:00

and a young person...is that a young person is better at pretending we'll be here forever. An older person knows better.

Two times you should never blog...

2005-05-02T18:45:00.000-07:00

when you're too drunk to see...or when you see too much...when you see yourself for who you really are.

I should put my liver on eBay while I still can.

A "friend"

2005-05-02T18:23:00.000-07:00

came by earlier today. We watched some really sick joecartoon skits...then I copied Pink Floyd's "The Pulse" for him. Then I realized this was the single, simple reason he came by. Pure and only. Friends. Fuck 'em.

The bunker is quiet again. As it should be. The beer just as it is right now sure tastes nice.

Late night blogging or late night sex?

2005-05-02T18:02:00.000-07:00

Which would YOU choose?

Just kidding. I needed an excuse for not blogging for three days.

running and Beer Drinking: A Critical Comparison

2005-04-28T11:24:00.000-07:00

First off let me say I am writing this while slurping a Beer. Try writing while running. Heh. Laptops are light for sure...but cumbersome nonetheless. Think road safety and all that.

running leads to bad ankles and knees. running encourages sciatica. Common causes are bad shoes, no warmup or overdoing it when you're sixty and haven't run for decades.

Beer Drinking (especially drinking professionally) leads to a bad liver. As with running, overdoing is a common problem. Good shoes don't help though.

running for long periods (12K or longer) sometimes results in an endorphin high.
Beer Drinking nearly always results in a high in an hour.

runners frequently race to be first. Prizes. Recognition. Money. It's the competition thing.

Beer Drinkers never race and usually strive for last...as in last one standing. There's recognition with this but if you want prizes and money take up running.

running requires extra gadgets like jock straps, shorts, $300 breathable running jackets and headbands.
Beer Drinking, either as a hobby or professionally, requires none of these expensive, unnecessary accoutrements.

Beer Drinking requires no track.

I've reached my second Beer. It's best I stop now and concentrate on the race.

Never cohabitate with a female body builder

2005-04-28T09:34:00.000-07:00

on a mission. You can't trust 'em. This particular lady athlete moved, strictly platonically and with separate bedrooms, into my San Antonio suite in '81. As the lights dimmed that first night there comes a soft, pleading tapping at my door. I'm lonely (etc.). She was, to put it mildly, well sculpted...so naturally we enjoyed a few moments of mutually adult entertainment. THEN she informs me of her boyfriend in Hawaii. I rolled my eyes. With a confession like that what else could I do?

She then informs me her back aches. For six months we visit every acupuncturist and chiropractor in town. To this day I wonder if, in some small way, I started those lower back problems which may have limited her chances as a world class weight lifter at a time in her young life when she very much needed recognition.

A gizmo I'd like to see:

2005-04-28T08:38:00.000-07:00

A bookshelf stereo system which includes a 5 CD player, satellite/am/fm radio AND wireless technology which streams music from a pc and on board usb connections for iPod-like capabilities. I haven't seen anything with all these capabilities in one box...but maybe I missed it somewhere?

How NOT to start your day...

2005-04-27T12:20:00.000-07:00

The devil made me do it...but at 7:30 a.m. the devil ordered me to walk three blocks south to the nearest restaurant which serves "Sh*t On A Shingle". I says, there's gambling there...and alcohol there...and I ain't got much money. Nevermind, the devil says. You'll be fine. Eat and get out. No problem.

Yea...right. The S.O.S. tasted rather tasty (sausage in a spicy white sauce with biscuits)...high cholesterol...to die for and the coffee rather bland. I'm looking at the cup thinking...this coffee sucks...one simple, single beer won't hurt. The guy next to me (who can see I'm struggling with a moral dilemma) says, "Pretend you've just finished the midnight to seven shift." Heh. Music to my ears.

So I'm sipping my first brew and plotting a quick escape (things to do... doncha know) when suddenly the bar mistress announces, "Last call for happy hour!" Everyone already has two or three shot glasses down as chips for their next reduced fare drinks and I'm thinking, Why the hell can't I have a shot glass down for happy hour too? Bingo. Just like that. I'm in the happy hour club.

Looking at my new buddy, I say, "Appears I'm here for awhile." He smiles and says , "Well, I gotta go." He exchanges his shot glasses for coasters redeemable another day, then leaves.

I stumble home. It's now after 11 a.m. and I'm listening to Frank Zappa totally buzzed...again...see how that works? Stinkin' thinkin'.

So I'm sitting on the front lawn

2005-04-26T12:04:00.000-07:00

when two cats move smartly into the courtyard. Related cats?

The adolescent cat is following the much larger cat and keeping up quite nicely because the large cat has an ever so slight limp. I wonder how he got that?

What with birds everywhere...birds nesting...birds making passionate avian love...birds poppin' eggs and singing about it...I figured the cats were on a late morning bird hunt...like Thanksgiving in April.

Not so. The lead cat heads for a prominent bush, stops, gives me the once over as if to say, "Christ. A human. They're everywhere." then sprays this bush a magnificent male dominating super spray and turns abruptly about.

The adolescent cat arches its back, does a double flip about face and hightails it to the exit super cat in hot pursuit.

I sat a moment sipping my beer and thought, "Wow. This is better than reality tv."

The question of the day today

2005-04-26T10:48:00.000-07:00

over at MSNBC is: Should troops ever be charged with murder during combat?

When I voted yes I was thinking of the My Lai Massacre where unarmed civilians in an entire village were systematically slaughtered. Evidently I'm out of synch with the mainstream on this: 71% voted NO and only 29% voted yes.

On further reflection I see the average Joe in combat, bullets flying, making snap life or death decisions, seeing carnage and wreaking carnage probably should not be second guessed. Yet it's simplistic to think a soldier might not go ballistic, lose all moral compass and step beyond acts of war to genocide or murder.

It's also a bit hypocritical to charge this young lieutenant with murder while letting the power crazed politicians who, despite protest the world over, invaded Iraq without just cause...to let these back-seat remf warriors completely slide.

Just one combat vet's opinion.

2005-04-25T07:40:00.000-07:00

Hard Boiled

Couldn't help but notice

2005-04-25T07:39:00.000-07:00

Duncan, Raven ,Greg and the other ex-military ex-pats (ex-milipats???) were partying this weekend at an undisclosed location somewhere in Germany WITHOUT the girls. Nothing like a bachelor party to cleanse the mind and refresh the soul.

Reminds me of my own introduction to 151 Rum on Okinawa, the Fourth of July 1973. Jack and I left our wives home, bought a fifth and mozied to the seawall to consume said fire water and converse on miltary and strategic matters. For a spell the outing proceeded swimmingly. Firecrackers popped up and down the beach. A few fishing boats sailed by near the horizon...or maybe they were destroyers.

Jack announced he spotted a sea snake floating nearby...most of our rum was gone by then and our vision was waxing rapidly glaucomatic. The sea snake may have been a rope.

Jack then proclaimed we should drop our firecrackers over the wall to watch them flash bang before reaching the water...which is what we thought we did.

What we forgot, though, was to drop them before they exploded...resulting in bruises very hard to explain later to two dumbfounded wives. On the plus side, all our fingers were in tact and we felt no pain because we weren't feeling anything by then.

None of this was my fault though.

2005-04-25T07:37:00.000-07:00

Spiderman stuck on a local clothes line.

I'm attending a

2005-04-24T07:57:00.000-07:00

Cootie meeting this morning which includes substantial beer drinking (What? You didn't know I occasionally imbibe?). This sometimes results in a muddled mind incapable of blog posting later on. Or not.

For those who like extremely sick humor

2005-04-23T10:32:00.000-07:00

The Greenfields: Episode 14 is up over at joecartoon.com. For those totally beyond help "Live And Let Dive II" is also available on his
main page. Bong is optional.

I brought cool detachment to the couch

2005-04-23T08:22:00.000-07:00

as I watched Super Size Me for the first time and rated it 5 Stars. It had me thinking about fat people in general, a few I know in particular (and how they got that way) and, more importantly, my own, very unbalanced diet. Perhaps, as a result of this film, I'll change some unhealthy eating habits.

I wonder, though, if those who need to see it most will, for any reason/excuse possible, not do so. It seems to me if we're going to ban smoking in public places, we should also ban food addiction and morbid food binging.

My neighbor's wife left him

2005-04-22T11:51:00.000-07:00

and he sat alone in their house for three days. He couldn't unlock the door, or turn the door handle or open the door because he had no hands. He had no arms below the stumps above his elbows. He couldn't hold a phone or dial 911. He couldn't kick out the windows. He had no feet. No legs. Only stumps above the knees.

...but this isn't about what he couldn't do. He could do a lot of things. He used to roll his wheelchair out, crook the hose in his armpit and water the lawn steering with the other stump. Other days he would work both stumps and rake leaves. One time the City awarded his garden the best in town. Maybe they knew he was trying harder than most. Maybe not.

Later he died and the lawn looks like crap once again.

Stupid Questions Department:

2005-04-22T11:00:00.000-07:00

Why does a lit cigarette say "phsst" when you put it in water?

Strangest medevacs I've seen...

2005-04-22T08:30:00.000-07:00

1) Friendly fire from gasoline jerry can (see previous two posts). Never toss a burning gas can up and away from yourself. Nasty business.

2) Sneaky rat hides on Armored Personnel Carrier. Soldier climbs up. Rat bites soldier. Soldier flies away for rabies treatment.

3) While training in desert near sheep grazing country soldier discovers tick firmly attached to his extensible private part. Medevac chopper called. Female medic soldier arrives. Both soldiers fly away for treatment.

4) 45 caliber pistol. Soldier sleeps using flak vest as pillow. Newbie lieutenant cleans pistol. Pistol discharges. Bullet strikes flak vest. Soldier awakens. Fracas ensues. Lieutenant flies away for new assignment.

Graphic evidence.

2005-04-22T06:15:00.000-07:00

Here's a photo of a sh*t burning detail in action...and now I think I've beat this subject pretty much to death.

All you ever wanted to know about sh*t burning but were afraid to ask...

2005-04-21T07:53:00.002-07:00

Back in the last great war (i.e. Viet Nam) we in the Army did our own porta-potties. We didn't have Halliburton's help in those days. We called these porta-potties "shitters" and they worked pretty well at low cost to the military: First we cut an empty fifty gallon drum in half making enough containment facilities for two shitters. Then we built a couple of shanty outhouses with flaps in back and slid our containment facilities in the back door. The newest of the new guys were then tagged as slave labour for "shit burning" detail.

Shit burning detail was quite a ritual in its own right. We dragged the smelly containment facilities into the light of day, doused them with diesel and set the chocolate-fudgey diesel mix ablaze. Smoke and noxious vapors emanated for hours. Finally the facilities were ready for reuse and returned to the darkness where they belonged.

The main rule was (because the Army always like to keep things simple) never, but never, pour gasoline on your smoking diesel to hurry up the process. The penalty for abusing this rule was a quick ride on a medevac chopper.

And now you know how we handled shit in the old days.

Extra! Extra! Bush converts to Catholicism!

2005-04-21T06:11:00.000-07:00

I mean...why the hell not? It's a perfect match...authoritarian, cloaked in opulence and ultra conservative.

And has anyone noticed how MSNBC the last couple of months is looking like the 700 Club?

Which is harder...

2005-04-20T09:29:00.000-07:00

talking like a dumb ass when you're really quite bright...or sounding eloquent when you're a dumb ass?

A man died yesterday on Interstate 5.

2005-04-20T08:07:00.000-07:00

His motorcycle flipped as he darted into a north bound military convoy. I didn't know this while I sat on my front lawn in the sun drinking beer and watching the traffic backup. I5 North slowed to a crawl then shortly thereafter Union Avenue, our two lane main drag, filled with more cars trying to avoid the interstate congestion.

I sipped awhile and watched this cluster then hoofed my way a block to the local tavern. Several hours later a female medic who works in the Madigan Army Hospital "OR" dropped in. She said the man was married, had two kids, was active Army and she saw him bleed all the way from the "ER" to the "OR." She went back to drinking her beer.

They're preparing Armegeddon as we speak.

2005-04-19T12:20:00.000-07:00

Tin foil hat time: Imagine the new Pope putting the entire weight of his papacy (and his one billion followers) behind Bush's war on terra. What? Did you think Bush showed up at the funeral for Italian coffee? Recruitment is down. And this represents a LOT of cannon fodder.

Essence of a G.I. town.

2005-04-19T07:55:00.000-07:00

Can you spot the sign which proves there's at least
one liberal living here? (Click on image to enlarge.)

When they said let's patch up

2005-04-18T10:22:00.000-07:00

the old building, I had no idea they were going to use all these
brigades and divisions to do it.

The other day someone asked me

2005-04-18T08:56:00.000-07:00

"How's it goin', old-timer?"

I was stunned, mortified, appalled. I know I'm older than dirt, getting "up there" as they say...but I didn't realize OTHER people realize it. Does anyone have a link for jowl removal cream?

Several silly questions:

2005-04-18T07:45:00.000-07:00

What is music?
Is music simply rhythm or multiple rhythms arranged in a pleasing way to form harmony?
Is "air" required for music or could the movement of celestial bodies be cosmic music on a scale so grand we cannot hear?
Is rhythm, and thereby music, the ultimate universal truth without which there is nothing?

More party shots.

2005-04-18T05:18:00.001-07:00

The bartendress. ("I can't drink on duty, but I sure as hell can dance.")

The ribs. Self-explanatory. And gone.

Yesterday was "Send John To Georgia Day"...

2005-04-18T05:02:00.000-07:00

all day. Beer and barbecued ribs. Beer. Then more beer for good measure. John, who recently returned from Iraq, finally drew a hardship tour.

That's your intrepid blogger, me, on the right (next to John) holding a foo-foo brandy glass. I don't drink brandy. They handed me the glass so I wouldn't be naked in the photo.

Feeling lucky?

2005-04-18T04:57:00.000-07:00

Pull tab bowls at the local VFW...
scene of many broken hearts and broken wallets.

OK...I'll bite.

2005-04-17T07:02:00.000-07:00

With greasy fingers and a loud, obnoxiously odorous belch (top and bottom) I ordered Super Size Me - A Film Of Epic Proportions (without fries) which should be arriving on Wednesday. I've got three days to eat hearty. After that, back to the beer and corn dogs.

We called it A4.

2005-04-16T12:16:00.000-07:00

The Marines called it "the Graveyard." The Vietnamese called it "the Hill of Angels" - Con Thien. I spent months in and around this area. Maybe it was my "edge." Maybe not. But I've never forgotten my time there.

First Raven

2005-04-16T06:52:00.000-07:00

at Raven's Rage recommends his friend Duncan's website...so I diddly-bop over there and see a podcast title. I'm thinking what the hell is a "podcast"? And I-ain't-got-no-Pod. But maybe I better find out stuff about this new internet gizmo.

So while reading Duncan's entry I'm asking, Where the hell is the podcast? He says podcast is truly here so a podcast must be around somewhere (I hope). I mouseover the entire blog post and find nary a sound bite. Then at last. Very clever, indeed! Embedded in the title. Nice touch.

Another nice touch was the transmission itself. A lot of behind the scenes work went into this. Great sound effects. Smooth commentary. Pleasant bumper music. In short...a winner. Give it a listen.

Apparently Presidential cowboys

2005-04-16T06:39:00.000-07:00

aren't popular with the ladies...or...you can fool all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time...but very few of the women any of the time. If bombing children and looting the planet isn't sexy then what the hell is?

I miss my war.

2005-04-15T11:25:00.000-07:00

I miss the dirt. I miss the guns and smells and fears. I miss the chaos. I miss living life on an edge so razor sharp I've never found it since. And I miss us guys...all of us young, cocky, so damned proud, so damned diabolically good at what we did. I miss living.

Shades apart.

2005-04-15T10:32:00.000-07:00

The Gun-TotingLiberal has an interesting take on the creationism debate. I especially like this line:

"If you don’t think the All-Mighty, All-Powerful, God has the ability to take an amoeba and over time, give that amoeba fins, gills, then arms, legs, hands, fingers, an intelligent mind, reasoning power, etc., etc., then you SURELY do NOT believe in the same “God” I do."

I get his basic point as both the evolutionists AND the creationists need to get a grip and realize they are wearing different shades while viewing the same powerful concept. Meanwhile God sits where He is and does what He does, asking us to transcend this petty duality and rivalry.

Here comes one of those strange days:

2005-04-15T09:04:00.000-07:00

Normal choices bathed in a gray northwest dullness. Usual culprits... watch news or listen/watch music videos? Blog or surf? Drink beer or drink sake? Stereo on...and off...and on again...too many cd's. Pink Floyd wrong for this moment, Zappa too "out there." Nothing feels right.

...choose to not choose or choose to choose all...

Pool league tonight.

2005-04-14T12:50:00.000-07:00

Thank God! Need to let this political crap go for awhile.

League update: They lost. Or, to reverse spin it, we won. Another week and the season is done. Back to serious drinking.

Our founding fathers

2005-04-14T12:44:00.000-07:00

never dreamed the most powerful military in the world - ours - would be controlled by civilian power-crazed psychos...probably figured, in their naivete, the civilians would be a moderating influence on the tanks and bunker busters. Well, welcome to the twenty-first century.

I wonder

2005-04-14T11:56:00.000-07:00

if Bush and his cronies have considered the possibility that, if they bomb Iran, ninety percent of the Iranian and Syrian populations might cross the Iraqi borders and swarm our troops like locusts?

As I try to sleep tonight I'll comfort myself with the hope these power-mad neo-cons would never touch off a fire storm like that.

If what Scott Ritter says is true...

2005-04-14T07:04:00.000-07:00

namely that Bush has already approved plans to prepare our military for an attack on Iran by June and IF John Bolton is confirmed as U.N. ambassador and IF Negroponte is confirmed as National Intelligence Chief...then brace yourselves for a wild summer. The stage is set.

Anti-Iran propaganda will escalate and startling new intelligence, via Negroponte, will be revealed scaring the crap out of most Americans. The U.S. government, via Bolton, will demand harsh U.N. sanctions...or else.

In the short term (and "by this summer" qualifies as short term with insufficient time to draft and train needed ground troops) a devastating "shock awe redux", timed appropriately for Fox news, seems the most likely scenario.

The part I don't get: We can bomb the hell out of the Iranian infrastructure, but how are we going to grab and hold Iranian natural resources WITHOUT ground troops?

2005-04-13T08:53:00.000-07:00

To hell with spring. Where's lunch?

I'll never listen to Kenny Chesney again!

2005-04-13T08:01:00.000-07:00

Just kidding, of course, but GW Bush has Kenny on his iPod. A bit unsettling that the Prez and I would both like country. Maybe I should switch to classical or he should switch to rap...to keep the political and musical genres properly separate.

How to save time with Firefox:

2005-04-13T06:18:00.000-07:00

Use live bookmarks. This feature will show you a list of current entries on a RSS enabled website, saving you the trouble of visiting a site which hasn't been updated since the last time you visited.

A note for Blogexplosion users: The "live bookmark" icon will not appear unless you open a site in its own window.

What would happen if Blogexplosion...

2005-04-12T19:15:00.000-07:00

adjusted it's timer to allow two credits only every two minutes? Would that set the Blogexplosion world on its ear or what? What the hell would the clickers do for two friggin entire minutes...perhaps read?

An alternative thought: extra credit for more time spent on a blog (unless the time is idle time)...even more credit for additional pages visited.

2005-04-12T19:11:00.000-07:00

...listening to "The Division Bell."

Pondering blogs,

2005-04-12T11:37:00.000-07:00

blogging and blogexplosion this morning, I've evolved a fledgling strategy for managing and producing blogs:

1) Keep most posts short...one, maybe two, paragraphs. Readers zip in and zip out. If the latest (as in topmost) post stands out, they'll read a bit...but they will NOT read and read and read...paragraph after paragraph.

2) Accept the 30 second timer. Expect most visitors to keep half a mind on it. See the timer as a challenge. Work with it. Work within it. What can I get across in thirty seconds?

3) Dedicate blogexplosion time to "comments." Half my regular visitors resulted from comments left by me on THEIR sites (with my return URL included). The other half resulted from word of mouth or my email signature.

Oops. Already broke rule one.

2005-04-12T08:24:00.000-07:00

Big Bob swearing allegiance to something
(hopefully legal).

Ain't that the pits...

2005-04-11T15:27:00.000-07:00

I spent the first twenty years of my life wishing I was twenty-one and I'll spend the next thirty wishing I was twenty again. Not sure which was more fun.

Never take a drunk to a maternity ward

2005-04-11T05:03:00.000-07:00

because I might ask questions like: Why put a maternity ward on the top floor...the fourteenth floor? I mean...when you're due, you're DUE and fourteen floors is a long way up when you're due.

Or why do they close the coffee shop on Sunday? People need coffee on Sunday ...especially if they're looking at babies way up on the fourteenth floor. And really especially if they can't have a beer while looking at these babies. A quadruple latte is the least they could do.

Well, I admit my kittie was a bit lame...

2005-04-10T19:26:00.000-07:00

but I was busy today. I had to spring a friend from the hospital. She had one of those semi "female" operations. And don't ya know I spent the entire day trying to spring her. Meanwhile I put these cat pics up. Just as place holders. Hell...I thought the little devil (i.e. the cat) was kinda cute. Best I could do.

Anyhow our young lady survived the surgery...and is recuperating just fine...a Percoset every several hours...though I will never ride with someone who doesn't know the way to the hospital ever again. Christ! We almost wound up in England.

2005-04-10T06:49:00.000-07:00

Easy does it. So far so good.
Beetlejuice ain't got nuthin' on THIS sucka.

One move and I'm outta here.

It occurred to me some people

2005-04-09T12:14:00.000-07:00

might think I was psycho back in 1980. If I was, I was in good company.

My friend Chuck, who was artistically bedeviled, painted an Easter bunny on a cross dripping blood and displayed it for all the supervision to behold.

This same Chuck (who was artistically inclined) was told on Friday by the Commanding Officer to beautify our barracks with a brand new coat of paint. Chuck painted a psychodelic choo-choo train which ran from the first floor all the way to the third floor. Very nice purple smoke puffs, Chuck. On Monday the Commander made him erase the entire train scene with solid "olive drab"...and never asked him to paint anything ever again. Chuck is now a social worker in Philadelphia. God save Philadelphia.

Then there was the "skeleton." Our First Sergeant inspected his room and discovered three feet of old pizza and hamburger left-overs. First Sergeant not happy. First Sergeant make Skeleton sleep in tent for two weeks. BUT the skeleton blew a fuse...ripped his own khaki shirt off popping every button...piff...poof...pzing. He then karate kicked the door to his room, broke his ankle and lay in the hallway sceaming and wailing until someone rescued him.

So don't think I was psycho. I was just trying to fit in.

One day back in 1980

2005-04-09T11:03:00.000-07:00

after listening to Frank Zappa for several hours I got so disgusted with the Army and Texas and my gig at Kelly Air Force Base I hiked up to the barracks second floor landing and began tossing my lp vinyls like frisbees at unsuspecting cars driving by. A nice military policeman appeared eventually and suggested it might be a swell idea if I desisted from targeting the neighborhood vehicular traffic. We then walked calmly, but resolutely, to the Chaplain's office where I received a few hours "therapy."

But no need to worry...as I listen to Zappa THIS time...I have no vinyl lps.

I don't drive truck anymore

2005-04-09T10:46:00.000-07:00

but here's one I wrote for my buds out there still chasing the white lines:

Sleeping By The Freeway

Past moonlit walls
doin’ the five
(as truckers say)
from ice packs
south
to angels,
phantom duals
whispered surf
breathing in the night,
like sheep
I count the diesels,
shift my dreams
past third and down
on down
exhausted now
to silence.

At precisely 11:00 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time

2005-04-09T09:58:00.000-07:00

because I've dubbed today "Unofficial Joe's Garage Appreciation Day" and because I need a really good excuse to drink more Busch beer and because it is impossible to listen to Frank sober, I shall play the entire cult classic at maximum decibel levels while repairing my two-slice toaster with a rusty phillips head screw driver.

The cheapest way

2005-04-09T08:43:00.000-07:00

to cover a "news" event (the Schiavo-thon or Pope-a-thon for example) is to pick one subject per day (or week), setup cameras, grab the pundits and broadcast rehashed material for hours on end. All very low cost...with very little news value.

Randi Rhodes had it right yesterday when she said cable news is really corporate cost-effective entertainment. From the corporate viewpoint if the public swallows this gruel they'll cease demanding any real news and come to believe journalism was always this lame. Lower costs and more profit for the corporation...more uninformed dumbness for the mallable American population.

Hideously simple and beautifully sinister.

2005-04-08T07:52:00.000-07:00

Big Rick and Dennis discussing more "strategy". Notice how their pitcher is nearly empty (again).

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Nice ride.

2005-04-08T07:41:00.000-07:00

Opposing forces practicing their lag shots.

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Our main strategy was to consume plenty of the above.

2005-04-08T07:31:00.000-07:00

Team strategy session. Our team from left to right: Big Rick (our captain), Dennis (our hottest shooter), Fast Eddie in red (our best cheerleader and official bringer of pom-poms) and John.

2005-04-08T07:19:00.000-07:00

Team spirit.

What better time

2005-04-08T07:09:00.000-07:00

to post pool league photos than when you're too hung over to write. We lost the match but our team, the Stick Shooters, had a blast and brought in good beer revenue for the tavern.

2005-04-08T06:57:00.000-07:00

It got a little drunk out last night.

There are no atheists in pool tournaments.

2005-04-07T10:55:00.000-07:00

Pray for us. It could be a bloodbath. We're playing the "other" home team tonight (who are rumored to be twice as sharp). I'm assigned as waterboy (though I'll be there shooting with my Sony Cybershot cue). I guess the team Captain really, really wants this one. Sigh.

Shooting darts with your cleaning lady

2005-04-07T10:04:00.000-07:00

is not a quick way to have your apartment cleaned. All employees need a union break but, even so, there was no discount for play time. Rats!

A drinking buddy says I'm a liberal

2005-04-07T09:38:00.000-07:00

but I say, "'Tain't so!"

How could a liberal drink Busch beer in copious quantities, listen to Loretta Lynn and survive twelve months combat on the border between North and South Vietnam? Sheesh...these dang extremist right wing neo-nazis. They don't know nuthin.

I watch VH1-Country because

2005-04-07T08:20:00.000-07:00

1) It doesn't do ~~rap~~ or ~~punk~~.

2) It's less depressing than cable news (and changes soundbites and video every two or three minutes).

3) Southern girls, in general.

4) Miranda Lambert and Deana Carter, in particular.

5) Minimal commercials. How can they afford that? Strange.

6) It enhances the taste of beer.

7) After twelve beers, the video looks and sounds even better.

8) The next morning it's still there singing and strummin'. No cleanup except beer cans required.

Blogexplosion said

2005-04-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

yesterday, "You will not be able to beg, borrow or steal any mystery credits this morning because you are NOT supposed to be signed in. You are supposed to be pre-cleaning your apartment so the cleaning lady doesn't embarras you when she arrives to REALLY clean your apartment."

Sure enough...click though I might...no bonus credits. I soon gave up and scrubbed the toilet. Thanks Blogexplosion for your nifty time budgeting feature.

I couldn't help but notice

2005-04-07T06:36:00.000-07:00

Dick Cheney isn't wearing a ski parka around the Vatican this week. There may be hope after all.

I'm struck this morning

2005-04-06T08:02:00.000-07:00

by the ecological beauty of March winds blowing twigs and leaves hither and yon just in time for the arrival of our nesting birds.

Entirely too many funerals

2005-04-05T20:44:00.000-07:00

and not enough smiles while we are still here.

2005-04-05T12:55:00.000-07:00

The flags of spring.

For those of you toiling and sweating

2005-04-05T11:45:00.000-07:00

in offices all around the Fort Lewis area this morning...don't worry...you didn't miss a thing. Nothing but gray in the sky. Solid gray. Dull gray.

Today is definitely not Sunday...and the sun...well she's a difficult task master just now.

Decked out.

2005-04-05T11:37:00.000-07:00

We probably have more flags per square foot in this town than most.

No news is good news.

2005-04-05T09:26:00.000-07:00

Is the Iraq war over? Are the troops home? Have they stopped dying (with unreported funerals)? I know Terry Schiavo is dead. I saw it on the tv. I know the Pope is dead. But what of my friends fighting beyond the big pond. Do they matter? Are their deaths worth five minutes coverage?

2005-04-05T07:50:00.000-07:00

An electric situation.