Never take a drunk to a maternity ward

because I might ask questions like: Why put a maternity ward on the top floor...the fourteenth floor? I mean...when you're due, you're DUE and fourteen floors is a long way up when you're due.

Or why do they close the coffee shop on Sunday? People need coffee on Sunday ...especially if they're looking at babies way up on the fourteenth floor. And really especially if they can't have a beer while looking at these babies. A quadruple latte is the least they could do.