Wednesday, April 27, 2005

How NOT to start your day...

The devil made me do it...but at 7:30 a.m. the devil ordered me to walk three blocks south to the nearest restaurant which serves "Sh*t On A Shingle". I says, there's gambling there...and alcohol there...and I ain't got much money. Nevermind, the devil says. You'll be fine. Eat and get out. No problem.

Yea...right. The S.O.S. tasted rather tasty (sausage in a spicy white sauce with biscuits)...high die for and the coffee rather bland. I'm looking at the cup thinking...this coffee simple, single beer won't hurt. The guy next to me (who can see I'm struggling with a moral dilemma) says, "Pretend you've just finished the midnight to seven shift." Heh. Music to my ears.

So I'm sipping my first brew and plotting a quick escape (things to do... doncha know) when suddenly the bar mistress announces, "Last call for happy hour!" Everyone already has two or three shot glasses down as chips for their next reduced fare drinks and I'm thinking, Why the hell can't I have a shot glass down for happy hour too? Bingo. Just like that. I'm in the happy hour club.

Looking at my new buddy, I say, "Appears I'm here for awhile." He smiles and says , "Well, I gotta go." He exchanges his shot glasses for coasters redeemable another day, then leaves.

I stumble home. It's now after 11 a.m. and I'm listening to Frank Zappa totally buzzed...again...see how that works? Stinkin' thinkin'.